Worldwide outrage shortage threatens social media, NZHerald OK but

Leave a comment

March 25, 2017 by Doug Coutts

Angry-Trump.jpg

Just a few of the tweeters expressing outrage at potential lack of outrage

A series of cave-ins at government-owned outrage mines in China’s Bàoxíng Province has put production on hold, stretching supply lines and bringing exports to a standstill.

With many experts predicting current stocks of outrage will last only another three days, all hopes are pinned on an early settlement of the current labour dispute at outrage plantations in Brazil and Chile, where production workers have been striking for several weeks over demands for quality biscuits at morning tea time.

With demand at an all-time high, the dwindling supply of outrage is expected to have an almost immediate effect on social media, according to Reddit reader Kenny Haffmor-Twisties.

“Without any outrage, Facebook is a bit stuffed,” he told WWNews in an exclusive interview paid for with Domino’s Pizza vouchers. “People will have to go back to cat photos and posting ‘99.9% won’t share this…’ crap. As for twitter™, unless conditions improve and we can find a new source of outrage quickly, I predict mass defections to Neighbourly.”

Content converters at the New Zealand Herald remain unconcerned. Team Leader Jess May-Kittup told WWNews that despite traditional news sources Facebook, twitter and the Woodville Times Argus Reporter Buy Sell & Swap drying up, the Herald had plenty to be going on with.

“We’ve got Polly Gillespie locked in a small room on a short leash scribbling frantically and poking notes under the door,” she said. “That should last us until Christmas at least.” Ms Gillespie, a former radio announcer best known for not leaving a single tawdry detail out, could be wretched for comment.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

March 2017
M T W T F S S
« Feb    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 190 other followers

wordpress analytics
%d bloggers like this: