September 17, 2016 by Doug Coutts
I remember the first time I ever wrote a puff piece for the Weakly World News. I was three at the time – some might say I was a precocious child, but TVNZ’s lawyers would be on to them faster than Tresseme Kopi Lowak Mousse slides from my head under the harsh studio lights – and I did it in crayon.
I did it in crayon because none of my Waterman pens had any ink and I wasn’t allowed to fill them myself
I did it in crayon because that’s what we all did back then, when I was three. 2005 – what a year that was! I was writing puff pieces in crayon for the Weakly Whirled News, sitting in the blue chair at the activity table.
And I did it in crayon because I thought then – as I do now – that we needed a bit of colour in an otherwise drab world where facts and information were weighing everybody down. Lighten up people, I used to say and, you know, they seemed to. That’s the power of the crayoned word.
I’m still writing puff pieces and while I’m not using crayon these days, I’m still writing in crayon deep down, in my head.
And that’s why I’m looking forward to writing colour pieces for the Weakly Whirled News – because they understand the power of crayons. Not pastels, not chalk, but good honest wax crayons that make everything look so bright, especially when the underlying ideas aren’t.
And that’s the reason I’m writing this puff piece for the Weakly Whirled News.
But there’s another reason I’m writing this puff piece for the Weakly World News – it only takes thirty seconds to dictate, so they tell me, and the money’s handy for buying more skinny ties.
Editor’s note: This will be Jack Tame’s last puff piece for the Weakly Whirled News. His contract was terminated early on Saturday morning for chewing on certain items in the stationery cupboard. Readers will still be able to find his puff pieces in the NZ Herlad.