Committee of 300 block books first Virgin space flight

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September 18, 2015 by Doug Coutts

The Committee of 300, one of the many secret societies believed to be controlling the world through manipulating stock markets, bribing government officials and constantly rearranging SKY’s channel line-up, is rumoured to have booked all the seats on Virgin Galactic’s first space flight scheduled to take place some time in the near future.

A spokesperson for the space-line, Anne Lye-Cleaterfligh, said passenger lists were confidential and anyway it was not Virgin’s policy to comment on rumour, scuttlebutt and/or future catastrophic o-ring failures. “Perhaps you media should ask the Committee directly,” she sniggered.

However, in an exclusive interview given to WWNews on condition we buy all Dan Brown’s books not at the remainder price either and never comment on John Keys’s wrist tattoo, the Committee’s Head of Public Relations Chloe Khandegger confirmed that Committee Members did indeed hold tickets on the inaugural flight, one-way sky couch premium first.

“It’s been apparent for some time that the desire for world domination is no longer confined to the rich and well-connected,” she said. “These days, everyone from overly-coiffed property managers to former wives of gender-fluid sportspeople is having a bash at ruling the planet. Our members are saddened that nothing is done behind the scenes any more – it’s all played out on E and the Living Channel – and they feel that Machiavelliness is no longer respected.”

Ms Khandegger said the 300 are aiming to start afresh with a new new world order on whichever new world they get to first, and plan to scatter Henry Kissinger’s ashes on touchdown. “Not as a symbolic gesture,” she explained. “We’ll just need something to break the fall – some of the guys are getting on and those stairs look steep.”

Luckily, being frail and mere skin-and-bone will work to the Committee’s advantage, allowing more of them to be packed into the space-craft.

 

Footnote: Christoph, Prince of Schleswig-Holstein, thought to be one of the members of the Committee of 300, would not be drawn on the question of his involvement and since no photos of him can be found, that’s the end of that.

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