June 26, 2015 by Doug Coutts
“We’ve listened to public opinion and we now know what the people want,” channel spokesperson Lila Lyrapantsonfire told WWNews in a secret meeting in a hotel bedroom usually used by TVNZ executives for short-term liaisons. “They don’t like change for change’s sake, they hate half-baked rip-off cooking shows even more and respect John for his down-to-earthiness and cardies. So Campbell Live will be back on Tuesday.”
Following the huge public response, TV3 was committed to bringing back other successful shows as well, Ms Lyrapanstonfire said. “Melody Rules, Celebrity Treasure Island and The Chair are all favourites – of Julie’s – so will be appearing in the schedules soon.”
Campbell Live’s replacement Storytime will be shelved in the meantime, with seasoned (coriander and a pinch of dill) journalist Duncan Garner heading back to the wireless and Heather du Plessis-Allan hoping no one at TVNZ had noticed she was gone for a couple of days.
Garner says it’s worked out for the best. “Frankly, I didn’t know how it was going to work – I only had an hour between finishing my fantastically successful radio show and going on air with Storylines. As anyone in the industry knows that’s not enough time to get through wardrobe and make-up, let alone have a read-through of the autocue. Add fitting in a screaming match with Heather over who’s standing where to the mix, and where’s the time to come up with depth and insight?”
John Campbell was unavailable for comment but was expected to be flying back early following his audition for The GC.