Word asks to be excused from dictionary

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November 24, 2014 by Doug Coutts

monkeys-and-typewritersIn a move that’s predicted to be the first of many, uninhabitable has sent a note to the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary asking to be excused from any further participation.

In the note, a copy of which was faxed to WWNews’s secret leak hotline, the word says that having been ignored for several years, it no longer sees “the point in hanging around”.

“For something that can trace its origins back two thousand years or more, I’m disappointed that things have come to this,” uninhabitable said. “Especially in the way it’s happened, where my position has been destabilised by another word working in quite a different area, completely separate from me. Our paths ought never to have crossed.”

Uninhabitable is referring to unlivable, which had previously been involved with the life-sustainability sector, acting in a negative role. Speaking exclusively to WWNews, unlivable agreed that boundaries had been crossed. “It’s true that people used to define me only as the inability to support existence, but I don’t think any word should be limited that way,” unlivable said. “These are modern times where journalists and editors didn’t oughta be restricted in their choositude of words. If it sort of sounds alright, than it is alright. I don’t see why words like me that are easier to type into an autocue or smartphone than those which aren’t should be constricted to rigid definitions.”

A spokesperson for the OED, Vern Acklier, said while the dictionary would be sorry to see uninhabitable go, there were many other words queuing up to get in. “We live in exciting times,” he told WWNews. “People are coming up with new words daily, usually around 6pm on television, and to include or exclude them from the dictionary solely on the grounds of whether or not they actually make sense or mean anything seems to me to smack of elitism, which neither the OED or English herself has never been about.”

Uninhabitable says it will probably move into shared accommodation at Chaffer’s Marina with a recent acquaintance, controversy (accent on the 2nd syllable), and several others in the same boat.

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