Paul Henry to front all media 24/7

Leave a comment

October 13, 2014 by Doug Coutts

reggiecuNew Zealand’s most respected television presenter Paul Henry has been named as the full-time host for all radio and television programmes as well as community newspapers and Countdown flyers, effective nearly immediately.

Speaking exclusively to WWNews from an unnamed planet in the Proctalgia fulgax galaxy, Mediaworks spokesperson Hedy Nickleods said Mr Henry was a perfect fit for the bold new face of media. “He’s as deep as a puddle with no hobbies, passions or fashions to muddy the waters and get in the way of the natural flow of his glibnitude. That’s why the audiences love him – he doesn’t make them spend any more time thinking through the issues than he would himself, which is typically 3.7 milliseconds or the time it takes to adjust his cuffs.”

Ms Nickleods said Henry’s ability to cut through the substance and facts of the matter and head straight for the icing was what set him apart from other broadcasting personalities. “He’s not burdened with the gravitas and intellect of someone like Mark Richardson, or the incisive quick wit of his former co-host Janika Ter Ellen, which can quickly bore viewers who these days have the attention span of a gnat, the metric equivalent of 7.25 Henries,” she said. “Paul’s keenness to move things along and not linger over details or polysyllables makes him the perfect choice.”

Paul Henry’s new show premieres across all forms of the media in early February with, if his previous form is anything to go by, recriminations, sackings and rebrandings in the second commercial break.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

October 2014
M T W T F S S
« Sep   Nov »
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 199 other followers

wordpress analytics
%d bloggers like this: