September 14, 2014 by Doug Coutts
Cuddly bon vivant conviction-prone protector of the poor Kim Dotcom has announced that should the 100% for sure no lies surprise killer evidence that will bring down John Keys not actually work as predicted, he has even more stuff that will.
“Rest assured that I have evidence for Effrika,”the Kim-meister told WWNews reporters via an ICQ link. “Like a drawerful of old post-it notes, there must be something in there that’ll stick. So watch out Mr Keys, and haff your excuses ready.” Mr Dotcom refused to go into details, saying that’s what has caused him problems in the past. “Too many details is not good for you, truss me on that.”
Prime Minister John Keys says he is unfazed by the new revelations. “We’ve looked at everything he’s likely to have found and are confident there’s nothing new. And if there is – which there won’t be because I haven’t said or done anything new for over a decade – but if there is – not that there is – but just say there is, we’re confident we will soon be able to back-date a work-around whatever it may be, not that it will be,” he told a packed lunch in Epsom.
Mr Keys is still way ahead in the Preferred Prime Minister stakes – at 92%, although a large number of those polled are rumoured to have scribbled ‘of Botswana’ on their forms. David Cunliffe is at 4.45% and the Conversative Party’s Garth McVicar is sitting just outside 2, as his deadlocks have jammed and Mrs McVicar is away getting a tint and cut.
Conversative leader Colin Craig is confident that his party will reach the 5% threshold but still has concerns. “The 23% benchtop is a bit of a worry,” he told WWNews on condition we printed a picture of some crop circles made by dinosaurs near Woodville last week. “And we’re not sure if the 87% stud will be an issue or not. That just leaves the 200% glazing, after which we’ll be well and truly home. If not hosed.”