Dotcom to drop bombshell early

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July 22, 2014 by Doug Coutts

MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERACelebrity rich-lister, bon vivant and serious politician standing for good old Keevee falues Kim Dotcom has just announced he will be dropping the bombshell he planned to drop in September several weeks early.

“My arms are so aching,” he told one of his security staff to tell WWNews on condition we stopped rubbing ourselves on the flokati. “I will heff to put it down sooner than expected.  But don’t worry.  It will not go off or anything.”

The bombshell, widely expected to become the next Mrs Dotcom, hails from Pitlochry in Scotland where she ran a small business servicing the scampi trade.

Staying with politics, which is more than most people under 25 are expected to do, the party political broadcast season commenced last night with a half hour special on behalf of the National Party at 7pm on TV1.  There will be repeat screenings all week, and possibly forever, at the same time.  Labour has no plans to follow suit.  “We gave up on television in 2003,” broadcasting spokesperson Tess de Patton said.

The Fairfax headline writers who came up with the “Griffins sells for big bikkies” splash yesterday morning are said to be beside themselves with joy at the prospect of the sale of Superloos NZ Ltd.

To the weather now and the outlook for the rest of winter is for winter weather, a source of amazement for many of the nation’s media, convinced that Xmas is when it should snow.

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