July 2, 2014 by Doug Coutts
100,000,000 Americans camped outside overnight in order to cast their vote for the man whose facial tats and steely blues have captured the hearts of a nation.
Before being elected as the world’s most powerful ratbag and just after being caught with a bag of pistols and a gallon of crystal moonshine, Mr Meeks had been offered a lucrative modelling career once he got out of prison. “But like I was like I don’t gots time to wait for that,” he told WWNews through darkened safety glasses. “I am fo’ the here and now. I sees the day and I takes it.”
There will be no formal swearing-in ceremony as profanity is forbidden at Hooterville Penitentiary.