Telecom/Spark unveils new tv line-up

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March 5, 2014 by Doug Coutts

the_opening_of_the_new_post_office_at_ravensbourne_5178e6afedTelecom/Spark, the telco that recently changed its name from His Majesty’s NZ Post and Telegraph Office (although it’s kept some of the desks and a filing cabinet), has announced a number of the programmes that will screen on its new start-up television service, ShootMeTV.

“Obviously, we don’t have full access yet to all the shows we’d like,” ShootMeTV assistant floor manager and ACR operator Mel te Tasking (formerly known as Stan Dingbye before the rebranding) told WWNews on condition we signed up for the full package including monthly magazine and Religious Studies Extra Extra for 24 months conditions apply.

“But those programmes we do have give a clear indication of the sort of quality and range you’ll soon find on ShootMeTV.  There are some new ones, some less old ones and a few classic ones to boot. And we’ll be adding new, or less old, content regularly.”

“Right now, the viewer will be able to choose from TV2’s cutting-edge 1977 soap opera A Going Concern, GloriousLeaderLive – the best of North Korean television – and Test Charts of the Sudan.  And that’s just on the Premium Channel.”

If hoary old programming interrupted by cheesy ads isn’t your thing, you can opt for Premium Ad-free, which costs just a little more but contains fewer ads, usually disguised as promos.

“And for a just few dollars more a week, which is only the price of a coffee although most people have more than one coffee a week and don’t go to Starbucks, you can have the package which is proving our most popular,” Mr te Tasking upsold.  “It’s just the ads, uninterrupted by programmes, promos or zany interstitials.  The phones are ringing hot and the emails, when they’re not being spammed, are pouring in.”

“With ShootmeTV, you’ll never miss your favourite tv shows” smiles Mr te Tasking.  “That’s because they won’t be here.”

ShootMeTV is expected to be broadcasting in August, around the same time as Telecom/Spark’s other premium business models – HangUpAndReDialMobile, SwitchOffAndWaitThirtySecondsInternet and HackEzyEmail – become available.

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