Palomino’s post-election party venue debacle

English: Coat of Arms of the City of Auckland,...

Would-be Auckland Mayor and failed Machiavelli John Palomino has admitted to WWNews that he didn’t have a post-election party “because the venue fell through”.  Apparently he’d asked members of his team to book a room at either Lion Nathan or Dominion Breweries but no one organised it so the party was cancelled.  “It’s par for the course,” he said by faxed text from his Australian hideaway. “We thought we had all bases covered but sometimes someone slips up and we all look silly.  Not to mention inept.  But there’s always next election.”

Claiming to learn from this mistake and others, Mr Palomino then initially denied meeting Miss Popsy Strumpet, a media celebrity for the next for weeks at least and responsible for discrediting the entire Slater family as well as most of the Auckland City Council, but suddenly remembered he had.  Once.  And they had just chatted you know about nothing in particular, certainly not about Len Brown or the 168,000 people who had liked him more than Mr Palomino. It was probably the weather that they talked about, yes that was it, because it was cold in that car park. Especially that night.

Mr Palomino is believed to be considering a career change, possibly in the tobacco promotions industry or as a spokesman for the Philippines Psychic Surgery Collective.


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