September 5, 2013 by Doug Coutts
Greg Boyed’s shock departure from the comic relief spot on the nation’s most-watched programme on TVOne at 7pm weeknights has left a gap that will need to be filled, according to TVNZ spokesperson Lila Lyrapantsonfire. “While we’re sorry to see Greg go, and not just because he was the only one in the office who could spell, I’m sure everyone knows that no-one is indispensable,” she told WWNews on condition we bought some fund-raising chocolate. “We will look at replacing him in the very near future because Big Save won’t take the stool back until the programme ends its current run.”
Although several TVNZ staffers, many capable of writing their own name, have expressed interest in having a bash at playing straight man to the shrill and the unfunny, Ms Lyrapantsonfire says there will definitely be a recruitment process.
“While not discounting job interviews as a way of finding the best candidate for a particular position, we have noticed that shows like NZ’s Got Idle and Talent X-free are very successful in finding the wow-factor in the most unlikely people. And we make a shitload of cash from the texting,” she said.
The audition series, NZ’s Most Sharpest Quest, begins on Wednesday. Hopefuls from around the country will be invited to send in an audition tape, a letter from their parent or guardian and a commitment in cash from a potential sponsor. The final fifty will go head-to-head in a three-hour live show, pre-recorded earlier to allow for more smoke and expensive lighting effects, and move through a wide range of news presenting tasks such as contra gathering, autocue operator bullying and ignoring voices in the earpiece. Viewers will be able to participate by tithing by direct credit and adding comments on TVNZ web-pages. Judging will be left to the professionals – a bunch of coked-up marketing graduates too busy to watch tv.
Paul Henry is expected to start the first week in October.