May 13, 2013 by Doug Coutts
Former short-lived rogue MP Aaron Gilmore has announced he’ll be leaving Parliament to pursue a career in advertising. “If I leave now, I should catch it,” he told WWNews on condition we gave him the name of our hairdresser. He said he had no regrets leaving politics. “I think I’ve outgrown it. All the petty bickering, the lies, the bullshit, the pinot for lunch – I’ll enjoy that working for an agency.”
Prime Minister John Keys said he would be sad to see Mr Gilmore go. “It means those journalists will start picking on me again,” he grinned but his eyes weren’t smiling.
In other news, the United States is to return several smuggled dinosaurs to China, after authorities arrested three men at LA International Airport. “They were walking funny,” customs official Hans Uppenspreddem told WWNews. “So we took them to a holding cell and waited for nature to take its course. Luckily we were all wearing noise-cancelling headphones.” China is said to be grateful for the return of the bones, although it seems there are three missing. The soup was very nice though.
To the weather now, and there’ll be rain in some parts of the country, the wet places.