May 3, 2013 by Doug Coutts
“I remember them well,” he says. “We had some good times together. Then they got agitated and had to go. Although some didn’t. And others burst into flames. Life’s like that.”
In other news, TVNZ is refusing to cut alleged rapist William Roach from Coronation St episodes. “Honestly, it’s hard to tell when he’s actually in a scene,” publicist Lila Lyrapanstonfire told WWNews. “We thought we’d found him once in the Rovers but it turned out to be a hat stand.”
National MP and gay icon Maurice Patterson has confirmed he will contest the Auckland mayoralty next year. He says he’ll bring to Auckland what he’s brought to Parliament, but in a smaller flask. Sir Les also says he’ll base his campaign headquarters at Rainbow’s End.
Solo adventurer Bear Grylls has tweeted a picture of his producer’s foot, after it was bitten by a deadly snake on location in the Amazon. The solo adventurer’s producer was carried to a waiting helicopter by five of the solo adventurer’s camera crew while the solo adventurer’s properties team searched for the snake. Mr Grylls, who travels the world alone looking for adventures, said the producer was very lucky. “We’d just finished dessert and were about to have some port, which we used to keep the wound clean.” The producer will be in hospital for some time and Mr Grylls expects his job will be covered by someone in the accounts payable tent.
To the weather, and the whole country is blanketed by cloud. And pillowed too, by the fluffy ones.