Fruit Flies Can Feel Hopelessness, Says Researcher

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May 1, 2013 by Doug Coutts

Caricature of Rudolf Virchow. Caption read &qu...

When they realize they cannot do anything to change a stressful situation, fruit flies under duress stop trying, according to new research. The fly slows down and exhibits listless behavior. “The fly copes with a stressful situation for which it has no ready-made answer in its behavioral repertoire,” according to scientists led by Martin Heisenberg of the Rudolf Virchow Center in Würzburg, Germany.

Just as well they only live for half a day then, said Doug Coutts, head curmudgeon at the Coutts Institute for Trawling the Web When He Should Be Working, taking a break from ironing the curtains and contemplating whether to check the letterbox again.

In other displacement activity,the Newstalk ZB website has run out of Ds, or its staff are largely illiterate, judging by the headline:

Don’t pay youth rates, pleas group.

Read more hear: [link]  To be fair, they’re probably too busy with New Zealand Music Month, that time of year when commercial radio plays more local music than ever before, but only because they have to.  And they get free t-shirts for doing it.

Sir Les Williamson, NZ’s latest gay icon (after knocking Tau Henare from the top spot – no wait, that was in the race to be Speaker) is still waiting for his appearance on the Ellen Degeneres show to be confirmed.  He said things were looking good until he was asked to send a clearer photo and his CV.  “Haven’t heard a dicky bird since,” he told WWNews over a shandy with an absinthe chaser.

To the weather now and Metservice is warning all New Zealanders to expect a Southerly change, if and when the poles flip, as they last did 41,000 years ago.  That will render secret compasses in the soles of ancient Bata Bullets useless, experts (not the same ones treating fruit flies with Prozac) say.

 

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