Man arrested in mall skirmish

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April 20, 2013 by Doug Coutts

walmart-fat-scooterA Johnsonville man was arrested yesterday afternoon for attempting to walk down an escalator at Porirua’s swanky North City Plaza Shopping and Fast Food Centre. He was seen trying to push through crowds travelling from the first floor to the ground and tutting loudly. Police were called and he was arrested soon after.

Centre manager Packham Innan-Rippemoff said the escalators were designed to carry patrons swiftly from place to place without any effort on their part. “Our customers tire easily moving between Maccas and the Baron of Beef in the foodcourt and need a rest before heading down to Wendy’s for a well-earned dessert, or even to Kmart for new trackpants,” she told WWNews over a butter chicken. “The escalator gives them a chance to catch their breath and socialise with each other. Besides, it’s only two metres wide so there’s really no room to allow passing.” Mall patrons agreed but were unable to comment due to the need for snacking between shops.

The man’s lawyer said his client’s behaviour was typical. “He’s an uppity cuss,” Sharon De Profest, partner at Hedge, Bicker and Quibble, said. He gets what he deserves. And I get paid so it’s all good.”

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