New containers for milk on the way


Fonterra has revealed (snigger) a new shape (chortle) for its milk containers (yada yada yada). Why this piece of marketing puffery (guffaw) is deemed news is anyone’s guess, but at least it’s given the WWNews graphics dept a legitimate excuse to trawl the interweb for a norks pic.

In employment news a freezing worker who was sacked for showering his bosses with a stream of expletives has been reinstated by the ERA who ruled that there’s a difference between swearing and abuse. The man, a boner (giggle [Enough. Ed.]), agreed, telling WWNews reporter Thomas Bowdler he was blimmen stoked and the court was a good pack of bastards.

The Greens have accused the Speaker of the House, David Carter, of being biased. They also say John Banks wears glasses and more people live in Auckland than Dunedin.

Dame Susan Devoy has waded into the controversy over her appointment as the first squash playing woman ever to be given a serious job. She says being Race Relations Conciliator is just a natural progression. “A lot of sports feature races,” she told WWNews on condition they helped her lace up her bata bullets. “And a lot of my relations watched me play, and made the right noises when I lost. Which I hardly ever did.” Dame Susan says her first move will be to travel around the country to find out exactly how many foreign people there are and what problems they might be facing.

To the weather and expect showers for the next few days. That way, you might be presently surprised.


Categories: In Breaking News

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