March 20, 2013 by Doug Coutts
A New Zealander has been sent to prison in Queensland for behaving like royalty and living the high life courtesy of Australian taxpayers. Justice Department spokesman Suds O’Rort said the man’s actions had come as no surprise. “We’re used to this sort of thing from you kiwis – there was a bloke here from Dannevirke ages ago who did just that. Joh or something.”
Mr O’Rort went on to say that while he had nothing against most ordinary decent law-abiding New Zealanders in Queensland, he was hoping new surveillance techniques would change that.
Headlines in body copy herald new move for blog
In an innovative and new move, the WWNews blog has started sticking bold (as in blacker and thicker, not braver) headlines in its body copy. WWNews spokesperson Hal Vetty-Carr denied it was an attempt to copy print rivals Murfax and Fairdoc. “It’s not,” he said.
Coro Star regrets comments
Long-time Coronation St actor Ken-Bill Barlow-Roache has apologised for comments he made to TVNZ’s London-based hack on t’telly last week. “I regret everything I said,” he told WWNews in a carefully prepared statement. “As an actor, I rely on other people to tell me where to stand, what to wear and what to say. I forgot that momentarily and made stuff up on my own. It’s got me in the shit and I now know how Lucy Lawless and Robyn Malcolm must feel.”
Twins separated at birth # 176
Weather predictions turn out to be true
What did we say? Eh? Eh? This: “… the torrential rain lashing most of the country will continue to lead the news until someone finds a tornado wreaking havoc, or the drought comes back.” Nek minit a tornado was spotted by diligent ADHD sufferers in New Plymouth and farmers are still saying “it’s not enough”. We should be getting paid for being this good.