March 13, 2013 by Doug Coutts
Today, or maybe earlier:
A Vatican City special – where there’s smoke there’s piety
Gerry Brownlee’s popularity is on the up – he’s big everywhere
And Anna Guy, is she the Beast’s secret penpal?
In breaking news fire crews have just rushed to a site in South Auckland where Denny’s has a two-for-one cheeseburger special. We’ll cross live to reporter Shannealy Crowe-Nupp, when she finishes her Maths detention.
Meanwhile in parliament, the Prime Minister has announced a cabinet reshuffle. He gets the white melamine one while the mahogany credenza goes to Bill English. Tony Ryall will have the Tallboy to accommodate his tie collection and Nick Smith will stay in the large plywood trunk that doesn’t open from the inside.
Not to be outdone, the opposition has announced a cabernet reshuffle – Grant Robertson will have the Cloudy Bay, with Davids Shearer, Parker and Cunliffe fighting over the Wither Hills. The rest of the Labour Party will stick, of course, with the chardonnay.
In world news, the overwhelming majority of Falkland Islanders who voted in favour of staying British will be forced back to the polling booth. A recount has just been ordered – by the British PM, David Cameron.
To sport now and the Black Caps have arrived at the Basin Reserve for tomorrow’s test. The white pants, cream shirts and pastel shoes will be there later today.
Time for the weather – farmers already surprised by summer are now concerned to find that the sun goes away each night.