March 7, 2013 by Doug Coutts
Possibly former Member of Parliament John Banks says he’s “inspired” by Australian Pauline Hanson’s political comeback in her reviving of the Shrill Harridan Party.
“She’s a girl after my own heart,” he told WWNews on condition he could deny it later. “We were both denounced as raving nutters but got elected anyway, and in our short time in the parliamentary ranks failed to achieve anything. If she can make a comeback so can I.”
Asked if he was aware he was actually still an MP, Mr Banks declined to comment further, saying he was late for a meeting of the Harold Lloyd Fan Club.
In other news, and staying with the nutter theme, the animal rights group PETA has expressed its disgust with a new computer game that features whaling. Apparently players who manage to shoot their way through a luxury cruise liner from bilge to poop deck with an 85% kill rate of crew and innocent passengers can take potshots at passing cetaceans. “This is totally disrespectful of animals,” tweeted PETA talking-stick holder Tinkerbell Moonbeam. “We ask all game developers to stop making this sort of hurtful hateful anti-animal pornography, and concentrate instead on nice games, like building rainbows in enchanted forests.”
The Prime Minister John Keys denies snubbing Venezuela over his refusal to attend the funeral of President Chavez, and says it will not cause a diplomatic incident. “Look,” he said. “I’ve never met the guy, we don’t have any significant business interests in that part of the world and I don’t think they’ll particularly care if I’m there or not. It’s a no brainer – it’s not like anyone died or anything.”
Mr Keys also said that in light of the ongoing political instability in South America it was a smart move to sell New Zealand’s surplus armoured cars to Bolivia. “We never managed to get them all going, so I doubt if the Bolivians will either.”
In sports, and the Black Caps’ outstanding form in the first test can’t last. Surely.