Early Census results just to hand

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March 6, 2013 by Doug Coutts

With a large number of the 2011 Census forms already processed, it may be too early at this stage to call a win for any particular question, or whether some questions may form a coalition. But thanks to the bold new innovation of online form completion, preliminary results show that not every household has internet access.

Rt Hon Maurice Williamson

Rt Hon Maurice Williamson

Minister for the Census and Other Inconsequential Bits and Bobs Maurice Williamson says he’s relaxed, thanks to his mid-morning Irish coffee. “So what if only a third of New Zealanders did the Census on-line?” he asked WWNews who had no ready answer having misunderstood the rules of engagement when interviewing politicians. “It’s still a lot more than filled their forms in online last time, and the time before that. I think this vindicates our glorious leader’s decision to go to Mexico in the midst of the worst drought Gisborne has ever seen. More coffee?”

There has been mixed reaction to the Census from those who actually had to take ten minutes out their hectic day to answer the questions. Tiki Spickchit, 23 of Napier thought there could of (sic) been more multichoice, actually. “It was good having a choice with religion and that,” she said. “But why couldn’t they of done it with the address part too? And the names of people in your household – who has time for writing down all that shit?”

A spokesperson for Statistics New Zealand, Stan Duppenby-Cowntette, said all the information would come in very handy in later years. “We are currently filing everything away in large copy-paper boxes,” he said. “Sometime in the future, we’ll drag it out again and have a sift through, I mean correlate and predict – that’s if there were any public servants left to do it.”

Information from the last Census was used to work out where, for example, more rest homes should be built, by ranking the areas with the shakiest handwriting on the returned forms. Mr Williamson said it was also used to work out where to draw the line between electorates, something the National Party had historically had difficulty with.


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