February 27, 2013 by Doug Coutts
Auckland Prime Minister John “Call me Tony Manero” Keys is rumoured to be considering offers from Hollywood producers for a part in a remake of the 70s disco hit Saturday Night Fever. He refused to comment to, or even acknowledge the existence of, WWNews. “But what I can say is this,” he told a teenaged flirty tart in the Press Gallery. “There is more to running the country than running the country. Turning it into a tourist destination is just one option, bailing out before the next election is another.”
If Mr Keys does land a plumb role in the movie it will be the first time a sitting Prime Minister has taken time out from the rigours of office since um er John Keys made an appearance on the Late Show with Letterman, where his reading of a top ten list resulted in tourism operators being flooded with requests for travel information on Iceland.
Several other high-level politicians are also said to be interested in supporting roles, with Tony Ryall’s tie collection in the running for the epilepsy-inducing dance floor and Judith Collins eyeing up the bouncer.
In other news, activist Tame Iti has been released from prison. He vowed to continue his war against Western cultural imperialism, but after he’d finished his cappuccino and croissant.
Overseas now, and more and more online newspapers are introducing pay walls to prevent readers reading for free. Industry commentators say the chances of that happening in New Zealand are [LOGIN HERE]
Of course, the weather’s free which is why they make such a big deal of it on the telly. That and traffic reports. Sheesh. Anyway, we’re heading for a serious drought situation, people. So get out there and pee on your lemon trees before it’s too late.