January 25, 2013 by Doug Coutts
I think I’m in the wrong business – running a media giant may well be beyond me. If today’s quick perusal of the headlines is any indication, my English comprehension skills are sadly lacking.
“Copper leaching into Milford Sound,” says the NZ Herlad and I immediately assume Detective Sgt Wilbur Force has been caught peeing in a public place again.
Yes, all right, I’m just being silly. But some of the Herlad’s headlines are indeed shockers, despite them announcing today they’ll be combining their online and print resources “to increase profitability we mean accuracy”. Accuracy can’t come too soon. From today’s online edition:
“Tennis: Agassi taking different tact with fatherhood”
I’m pretty sure the word is ‘tack”. It’s a nautical term meaning to turn and while not everyone’s a sailor, you’d expect reporters and subs to know the difference between throwing the tiller hard over and choosing one’s words carefully. Choosing one’s words carefully was once a basic tenet of journalism
In other news, the Prime Minister John Keys said that Labour’s idea of building cheap houses was too expensive and the Leader of the Opposition (name to be supplied) countered with “If we had some bloody apprentices it wouldn’t be”. As they say at the Pak ‘n’ Save bread counter, stale mate.
Labour’s hopes of doing well at the next election have always hinged on how well they do at the Ratana celebrations. It’s hard to see how you could stuff it up, apart from pointing out the trumpet section in the band is always three notes behind the percussion, but then Labour has always managed to turn triumph into adversity in the blink of an eye, or in the time it takes a naked teen to flag down a police car or for half the caucus to deny a leadership challenge.
A million miles away from Labour, Gareth Morgan maintains his position on the front page with his latest suggestion that, like cats, Phoenix supporters should be chipped, neutered and locked inside. Not surprisingly, he’s got a lot of support. Unlike his football team.
Apple shares have plummeted with the revelation that none of the staff there has had a new idea for months. You’d expect the people over at Samsung would be overjoyed but quite the opposite: after all, who will they plagiarise from now? Micro$oft? Don’t make me lol.
Weather now – the outlook is fine but the thunderbird is finer.